Ovid was exiled from Rome, though the reasons are unclear. In the Smiles of Rome, an excerpt from his Art of Love is included, with Susan Cahill's follow-up proposal that Ovid was too progressive for the misogynistic moralist Emperor Augustus. Ovid attended to the needs of women in his writing...what a goofy idea!
What is up with women, and men's roles in the world today? I'm not trying to whine - people are constantly developing new ways to be victimized feminists (did you think those two words were contradictory? Emily Gould explains why they are not). I'm seriously trying to figure it out, in terms of both ontogeny and phylogeny (that is, my own puny little existence and the overall trajectory of the species).
Certainly, there has been progress, in the last 50 years, particularly. What's 50 years, though? Maybe it's like the moment an infant who, after crawling in the dirt for centuries, takes that first toddling step. It's a clumsy uprightness, followed by an almost immediate return to the earth: Because when you've been crawling for so long, the effort spent walking seems ridiculous. Except, of course, when you want to make actual progress.
Like the infant learning to walk, our societies can't acquire the new skill of respecting and appreciating women's contributions by watching (especially when we're still watching mostly men, whether it's in sports, entertainment, politics, etc). Do you remember learning anything new, recently? How un-fun it was and how you just wanted to give up and go sit on the couch and eat Cheetos? That's how it feels to be figuring out how to be a "new woman" in today's age.
For a while it seemed as simple as doing like so many men do: adopt a career and pursue it single-mindedly. BUT! But: I like - and need - my social connections (see weepy, inspirational clip below). I like my community, and my thoughtfully prepared, healthy dinner, and my swept floor. I like knowing what's going on with my family, and reaching out to someone who seems sad. Without being Martha Stewart (not even close), I like making homemade birthday and holiday cards, and trying out a new recipe. I like my lighthearted, mostly-for-fun women's barbershop group.
After I realized things were going to be more complicated than I initially thought, I spent some time trying to do it all (in my head - thankfully, real children were NOT involved). My conclusion? Like Erin Pizzey: exhausting. It just doesn't make sense. Someone has to actually run the world on a daily basis, including shopping, cleaning, and feeding everybody, and someone has to dream the dreams that keep the world moving forward. For everyone to do all of everything...blech, and double blech.
At the Colosseum, I approached our guide after the tour, and asked her about a fun fact regarding the seating areas at the fights. From her telling, "women and slaves" sat in the uppermost tier - the cheap seats. I was curious about this, thinking that the wives/mistresses of the fancy Senator dudes would be allowed to sit near their mates and all the spraying blood. She replied that no, in public life, women had no influence. But then she got a glint in her eye: in private life, she said, as the mothers, sisters, and daughters of those fancy dudes, they had a great deal of influence. For example, did you know that Helena, the mother of the Christianity-edict-ing Constantine, is often credited with exposing him to the religion? Then with another glint, she added: "some things never change, no?"
So what now? Who the hell knows? I peeked behind the curtain and saw the Wizard of Oz, and he is a scared little man in a tiny narrow booth. He may think he's the boss, but he is missing out, too. A scrumptious creme brulee is a delightful accomplishment indeed, as is the act of showing up at a sad house with a hearty casserole. Maybe he and Dorothy should have a little chat?
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