little miss froggie

Today for a quarter I bought a Long Frog (?) pin to go on my new GW jean jacket. You know how everyone looks like a certain type of animal? I kind of think I've always looked like a frog. I have no idea why and I realize that this makes no sense and that some of you (who have nothing better to do) will Google pictures of me and try to figure out the frog parts of Chiara. I couldn't really explain it, until I searched frog animal symbolism.



Now I get it: I'm all about evolution. In undergrad, I applied for a fellowship (which I didn't win) and we were asked to write 17,000 essays (ok, maybe 7, but it felt like a lot). One was about a book we read (I chose Anna Karenina), one was about our career goals, one was about - who knows - a challenge or "learning moment" which is my quartet calls it when someone goofs up. The essay I have in mind was a free skate, 10 single spaced pages (maybe 4) on whatever we liked. I wrote - get this - about personal growth. Ha! Double ha! Because at the ripe old age of 17 and a half, what on EARTH did I know about personal growth? (And really, I'm less than twice that now, so maybe I should just quit while I'm ahead and go watch more TV).

Regardless, I feel my whole life I've been motoring toward my destiny of evolution, which is to become an amphibian, apparently. Darwin would take issue with that but at least it works metaphorically. These lines from the site above are too good not to just pop in here, but do go visit the site because there is a funny lady who greets you at the top before you get to this part:

The frog undergoes incredible transformations to reach the destination of full adulthood, and so do we as humans...The frog understands what it is like to undergo some serious growing pains.


[Just an aside: I'm pretty sure there is no animal that symbolizes stagnation and stubborn unchangingness. It's kind of like when you read your horoscope and it makes you sound like you're a rock star and then you read all the other months and realize that everyone is a frickin' rock star. If the horoscope people didn't make everyone sound amazing most of the time who would buy all those silly magazines?]

But seriously, evolving. As a species we evolved to walk upright, have few offspring that we invest enormous amounts into, and eat a lot of corn (a good little evolver in its own right).



Ok, species are easy to figure out. What exactly are we here to do as individuals? A lot of people (including me) would say that we're here to learn how to love each other. One of my favorite professors would happily share his religion with anyone who agreed to listen for 2 minutes (and that's all it took): "I believe God is love and God manifests wherever humans are loving each other well." Simple huh? Not really, because I think to really love another being, we have to love ourselves. Not "if I were a little skinnier" or "if I earned more money" or "if I were a tiny little baby and hadn't made any mistakes, big or small, yet." The list of reasons NOT to love ourselves is very long, especially when we are squishy tadpoles. Unless we just burn the list up. Light that sucker on fire, dance and holler around the flames, and blow away the ashes when it's all that remains.

two movies

Forgot to also mention that I bought 2 classic movies today: Fargo and Uncle Buck. Both involve the woods...quirky people...that might be where the similarities end. Add those to my tiny little DVD collection comprised of Little Miss Sunshine (did everyone else know that's an old nickname for Shirley Temple?) and Edward Scissorshands. Now I just need The Princess Bride and I'll be all set with the plot of my life: dark stupid criminals plus heroic crazy-yet-practical woman, oblivious crass and invasive relatives (no not really family, that part's a joke), a collection of bumbling, lovable-by-the-end searchers, and an outcast misunderstood warmhearted and terrifying artist.

good night, moon, and Dear God, thank you for sending the rain.

two items

The loveseat was formerly owned by a couple, Ed and Florence. When Ed passed, Florence required a place for her daughter to sleep when visiting from the big city. But, in the tiny apartment that Florence chose when she downsized most of her life, there wasn't a reasonable place for a spare bed, or even a full-size pullout sofa sleeper. Florence recalled that Temple Furniture out of North Carolina used to make a twin-bed loveseat sleeper bed. Proud that she had recalled such an obscure fact, never before necessary in her life of extra bedrooms and otherwise spacious living, she called up Temple Furniture to inquire. Turns out they still made the twin-bed sleeper, selling "a lot to ladies like you," said Bob the salesman to a Florence, who wondered just how old she sounded. She chose a large, mostly neutral floral print, and had it placed in her living room kitty-corner from her red sofa. When Florence's daughter Sandra arrived, she remarked that it was cute and that it would do.

The blue cabinet was made by a whimsical gentleman who stained so many items accidentally with rings of black coffee that he began planning for it. The cabinet was for his granddaughter - his only grandchild and secretly his favorite living person in the world (he felt guilty choosing her over his son, a nice enough lad but not nearly as adorable as a baby as little Sally). She being 10 years old at the time, he designed it as small without being tiny - approachable, he thought. He chose a muted slate-ish blue and made it with simple lines, so that when Sally grew up and developed taste, she might still keep it around. He hoped for this in his subconscious, knowing that he himself might be not around when she made her adult decision about his cabinet. When he was in the garage one day, Sally came out and asked if he was going to stain it with his "coffee stuff like Grandma's ashes table." He shook his head, embarrassed that his wife's urn was on a hand-crafted old TV stand covering up a brown circle, but Sally went on to say "that would be real special, if you made it for me like you made Grandma's fine arresting place." Instead of a coffee ring he chose a dark walnut stain for the front board on the top, and it came out real nice, he thought. Sally said "hmmm, I guess this will do" and turned the two shelves behind the doors into a penthouse for her dolls.

two black bears

Today I went with my good friend E up Skyline Drive hike the Appalachian Trail, which has the coolest graphic:



Literally immediately after we got on the trail, we saw two black bears. The first was to our left, up a little incline, about 20 feet away. She looked right at us, and E said "I'm not scared, we're fine" and I decided to believe her. The bear looked at us for maybe 20 more seconds, and then ran off and made a snuffling noise that E (who became an expert on black bears this past summer, very convenient for today!) says is designed to sound intimidating. But luckily, there hasn't ever been a black bear attack in Virginia and since 75% of their nutrients come from plants (like our friend below; no I didn't take that picture), I wasn't scared that maybe I looked like brunch. We set off, only to go 10 steps and see another bear, this time down the trail from us maybe 50 feet away. This one took less time to decide to make herself scarce, and we both exclaimed about how amazing it was. E's dream each summer is see a black bear and she got two of them! And I was impressed at her black bear knowledge and glad we didn't get eaten, even though I didn't really think we would...



Later I learned what bears symbolize. For various reasons I'm looking forward to fall, but something tells me that this winter will be a good one for hibernating and preparing for big changes come spring. I don't know what they are, but I and my hungry self will be ready.

mad world

everyone wants to be seen