Whenever I read TIME magazine, I always start by skipping to the back. Joel Stein's column (with an obnoxious title that I won't repeat here but will include a blog link that will tell you the title and maybe some other things you didn't want to know) is on the last page. Though I spent a while trying not to like it, I have to admit that I kind of appreciate his humor. Irreverent, sometimes self-deprecating but mostly self-important, treating serious topics like he's trying to decide between shades of red crayon (that is, not seriously at all)...this guy lightens things up and makes me feel unexpectedly well-adjusted.
TIME's week of August 2 issue - which probably came to our very own, clear cardboard (where do they get that stuff?) postal repository in Charlottesville's central hold-mail area the last week we were in Italy - held an interesting surprise. Joel was being serious, or mostly serious. He went to meet Tony Robbins and managed to write a whole entire column without making fun of him. I liked when TR explained why Joel isn't friends with a bunch of really really famous people and TR is. You can read for yourself of course, but TR pointed out that Joel is judgmental and has a hierarchical model of the world (what does that mean, anyway? I use hierarchical models but I'm pretty sure Joel Stein is not a statistics freak). Basically Joel's goal is to make fun of people. Maybe to secure his own place to make sure he's above them in some way. TR, in contrast, sees his job as understanding and helping others.
I'd love to know what TR's model of the world is so I can try and adopt it in the spare time that I'm now devoting to finding myself. Unfortunately, Stein's column is not exactly a scholarly, thorough source. (I'm probably overthinking it, but isn't that what blogging is about?) I definitely appreciate this because for me it describes a growing-up process. As petrified adolescents, humans tend to judge judge and judge some more because turning the eye inward would mean realizing what an awkward, confused, self-conscious and utterly desperate mess most of us are, at that age and perhaps any (don't get me wrong, supposedly from, ahem, education research, many adolescents are well-adjusted and that is all wonderful. PS I hate them all and their well-adjusted parents regardless of sexual persuasion). Anyway.
So, as we grow, and if we're lucky and more than a little dedicated, we get better at understanding and accepting our own faults and in turn, the faults of others (I hope everyone realized off the bat that when I say "we" and "our" in posts like this, I really mean "I" or "me" but am hoping for some of that scholarly mood and a feeling of community by invoking the royal "we". Plus a tiny wish that it's not only yours truly who had a traumatic teenage experience). Because aren't we all totally flawed and uncertain and - this is a big one - feeling out of control? Isn't that what the world teaches us? As in, "Gee you thought you were buying train tickets? Think again, sista!"
Oh yeah, I was going to mention Don Draper.
FYI, I've never actually watched Mad Men but I believe they have rad costumes. So after reading about Joel's quest for self-acceptance, I turned to the second-to-last page, about a fictional character also in search. Here are my favorite bits that create their own, more universal narrative, in a new form called "column scramble" that I believe means I'm not plagiarizing, but just in case: James Poniewozik wrote all these words, not me. I take credit only for their rearrangement, thoughtful omission, and funky punctuation (wouldn't that be a great band name? you could sell t-shirts with question marks grooving out).
When we first see him, he's struggling to answer a simple question: "Who is Don Draper?"
In a way, Don has achieved...what he wanted: his liberty. He is free - in fact, expected - to relaunch his brand. But how? As whom?
Don extricates himself...but falling back on his earliest identity: "I'm from the Midwest," he says. "We were taught that it's not polite to talk about yourself."
(The idea that you can't escape the past)
Sometimes it seems the entire series is one long setup for...inevitable therapy visits. Which isn't to say (it's) all angst.
And there's buoyancy.
The changes that have come...can be discomfiting to watch.
But they're rich with possibility.
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